{"product_id":"useless-corpse-matte-sticker","title":"Useless Corpse – Die‑Cut Sticker for the Emotionally Deceased ⚰️","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhen your vibe is 90% doomscroll, 10% undead sass, \u003c\/strong\u003ethis sticker steps in as your emotional support corpse. A matte‑finished ode to the fashionably brain‑fried, the existentially wilted, and the beautifully unbothered, this die‑cut vinyl sticker brings graveyard glam to laptops, journals, water bottles, skateboards, and any surface begging for a little morbid sparkle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGift it to your favorite ghoul, your burnout bestie, or keep it for yourself — after all, you clawed your way out of the dirt to get here.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🎁 Perfect Gift For\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• Members of the Existential Crisis Club\u003cbr\u003e• Sad‑girl‑energy icons and emotionally unavailable artists\u003cbr\u003e• Sticker collectors with a flair for the macabre\u003cbr\u003e• Weirdos, goblins, and anyone thriving on self‑care via sarcasm\u003cbr\u003e• Millennials, Gen Z, and anyone who identifies as “dead inside but cute\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e⭐ Product Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 💀 \u003cstrong\u003eMatte finish\u003c\/strong\u003e for that smooth, coffin‑cool, dead‑inside texture\u003cbr\u003e• 🌎 \u003cstrong\u003eEco‑solvent inks\u003c\/strong\u003e — because even zombies know sustainability keeps the apocalypse chic\u003cbr\u003e• ☀️ \u003cstrong\u003eUV‑protective laminate\u003c\/strong\u003e so it won’t fade like your will to socialize\u003cbr\u003e• 💧 \u003cstrong\u003eWater‑resistant vinyl\u003c\/strong\u003e for indoor\/outdoor existential hauntings\u003cbr\u003e• 👍\u003cstrong\u003e Easy‑peel backing\u003c\/strong\u003e — perfect for hands with zombie‑level dexterity\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🧼 Care Instructions\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003eWipe gently with a soft, dry cloth. Or drag it through the graveyard mist. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. You're undead now. 🧟\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 2\" × 2\"","offer_id":43533287424079,"sku":"10055864773964570149","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 3\" × 3\"","offer_id":43533287456847,"sku":"15968067231431487388","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 4\" × 4\"","offer_id":43533287489615,"sku":"20443640857493160185","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 5\" × 5\"","offer_id":43533287522383,"sku":"14284800419479296026","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 6\" × 6\"","offer_id":43533287555151,"sku":"26160920937309900711","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0645\/9392\/0079\/files\/12380787042032364994_1200.jpg?v=1764787427","url":"https:\/\/thebeardedskeleton.com\/products\/useless-corpse-matte-sticker","provider":"The Bearded Skeleton","version":"1.0","type":"link"}