{"product_id":"cooked-sticker","title":"We’re Cooked – Whimsical Die-Cut Sticker | The Kitchen’s on Fire and We’re Still Paying Rent 🍳","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA sticker for the generation that can’t afford to leave the stove — literally or metaphorically.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003eThis die‑cut beauty is for anyone who’s ever muttered \u003cem\u003e“we’re cooked”\u003c\/em\u003e while doomscrolling between rent payments, reheating leftovers, and pretending the smoke alarm is just part of the ambiance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFeaturing a whimsical design with just enough chaos to match the vibes of late‑stage capitalism, it’s perfect for laptops, water bottles, notebooks, or the crumbling facade of your emotional stability. Whether you’re simmering in climate dread, sautéing in student debt, or slow‑roasting in existential crisis, this sticker gets it. Cute enough to make you smile, honest enough to make you spiral. Stick it where it hurts. Or where it heals. Either way — we’re cooked.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🎯 Perfect For\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• Millennials, Gen Z, and anyone who’s ever whispered \u003cem\u003e“oh no”\u003c\/em\u003e at a bill\u003cbr\u003e• Laptops, water bottles, planners, and burnout shrines\u003cbr\u003e• Friends who cope with humor, carbs, and mild panic\u003cbr\u003e• Anyone who wants their décor to scream “I’m fine (I’m not)”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong style=\"--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgb(59 130 246 \/ 0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; box-sizing: border-box; border-width: 0px; border-style: solid; border-color: rgba(179, 179, 179, 0.3); font-weight: bold; font-size: 1.125rem; line-height: 1.75rem; color: #434341; font-family: 'Noto Sans'; background-color: #ffffff;\"\u003e⭐\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e Features That Hold Up When Things Fall Apart\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 🧂 \u003cstrong\u003eMatte finish\u003c\/strong\u003e clean, modern, and crisis‑compatible\u003cbr\u003e• 🌱 \u003cstrong\u003eEco‑solvent inks \u003c\/strong\u003ebecause the planet deserves better than our coping mechanisms\u003cbr\u003e• ☀️ \u003cstrong\u003eUV laminate\u003c\/strong\u003e protects against fading, weathering, and harsh reality\u003cbr\u003e• 💦 \u003cstrong\u003eWater‑resistant vinyl \u003c\/strong\u003efor indoor\/outdoor chaos and emotional splash zones\u003cbr\u003e• 🫶 \u003cstrong\u003eEasy‑peel backing\u003c\/strong\u003e fuss‑free application, unlike everything else in life\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🧼 Care Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGently wipe with a soft, dry cloth from the center outward. No need to panic — at least not about this.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 2\" × 2\"","offer_id":43533283885135,"sku":"11465765871408315106","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 3\" × 3\"","offer_id":43533283917903,"sku":"15021300227661808331","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 4\" × 4\"","offer_id":43533283950671,"sku":"27155541120474744327","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 5\" × 5\"","offer_id":43533283983439,"sku":"15785489019774340216","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 6\" × 6\"","offer_id":43533284016207,"sku":"30027753593977432390","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0645\/9392\/0079\/files\/13487758288141931360_1200.jpg?v=1756944779","url":"https:\/\/thebeardedskeleton.com\/products\/cooked-sticker","provider":"The Bearded Skeleton","version":"1.0","type":"link"}