{"title":"All Matte Vinyl Die-Cut Stickers","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVelvety, vicious, and ready to haunt your surfaces. \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThese matte die‑cuts cling like a friendly ghost and hit like a resurrected grudge. Nerdy, edgy, and smooth as a tombstone at midnight.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"mentally-offline-bright-sticker","title":"Mentally I’m Offline – Dumpster Fire Die‑Cut Sticker (Light Variant) | Bright Background, Same Burnout 🔥","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor the days when your brain is spinning the loading wheel but your calendar keeps screaming for attention, this sticker delivers the perfect dose of chaotic honesty.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003eThis sticker captures that uniquely modern blend of emotional unavailability and being somehow, inexplicably, booked and busy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStick it on your laptop, water bottle, planner, or journal — anywhere you need a reminder that surviving is a vibe, even if your brain checked out three meetings ago. 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Start from the center and work outward, avoiding harsh cleaners, water, or unsolicited advice. This sticker is already doing its best to stay upright in this economy.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 2\" × 2\"","offer_id":43533279101007,"sku":"20634765306981507216","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 3\" × 3\"","offer_id":43533279133775,"sku":"10126494382247495393","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 4\" × 4\"","offer_id":43533279166543,"sku":"29593017388661025541","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 5\" × 5\"","offer_id":43533279199311,"sku":"29615731911525515655","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 6\" × 6\"","offer_id":43533279232079,"sku":"27806583210402259006","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0645\/9392\/0079\/files\/15116310248065552810_1200.jpg?v=1756934310"},{"product_id":"mentally-offline-dark-sticker","title":"Mentally I’m Offline – Dumpster Fire Die‑Cut Sticker (Dark Variant) | Hot Mess, But Make It Meta 🔥","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor the days when your brain feels like a flaming dumpster rolling downhill, but somehow you’re still answering emails and pretending to be a functional adult.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003eThis sticker captures that perfect blend of burnout, chaos, and \u003cem\u003e“I swear I used to be smart”\u003c\/em\u003e energy — complete with a blazing dumpster that’s basically the mascot of modern existence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSlap it on your surfaces — anywhere you need a reminder that being a hot mess is practically a personality type now. 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Start from the center and work outward, avoiding harsh cleaners, water, or unsolicited advice. 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That’s it. That’s the whole instruction. If you’re doing anything more than that, you’re trying too hard — and honestly, this sticker doesn’t have the energy for your overachieving tendencies.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 2\" × 2\"","offer_id":43533280739407,"sku":"30677286422716033955","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 3\" × 3\"","offer_id":43533280772175,"sku":"11898975778733154960","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 4\" × 4\"","offer_id":43533280804943,"sku":"10201970631255867854","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 5\" × 5\"","offer_id":43533280837711,"sku":"10282647233671547234","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 6\" × 6\"","offer_id":43533280870479,"sku":"22185857472957469987","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0645\/9392\/0079\/files\/7143312893916018864_1200.jpg?v=1756932693"},{"product_id":"ufo-sticker","title":"UFO‑ver Easy – Die‑Cut Sticker 🛸🍳","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWelcome to the Breakfast Dimension — a sun‑soaked universe where UFOs are egg‑shaped, bacon is abducted with pride, and brunch is a cosmic event.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003eThis die‑cut sticker captures the exact moment a retro flying saucer beams up two sizzling strips of bacon from a dreamy beachscape, proving once and for all that extraterrestrials have excellent taste.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt’s playful, surreal, and just the right amount of “did I really just see that?” Perfect for laptops, water bottles, notebooks, coolers, skateboards, or any surface that could use a little intergalactic absurdity. 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Treat it like the radiant little rebel it is — bold, bright, and not here to play small.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 2\" × 2\"","offer_id":43533290831951,"sku":"11057355487635640069","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 3\" × 3\"","offer_id":43533290864719,"sku":"18408382454201526793","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 4\" × 4\"","offer_id":43533290897487,"sku":"29059931187275675477","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 5\" × 5\"","offer_id":43533290930255,"sku":"19258047672748515061","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 6\" × 6\"","offer_id":43533290963023,"sku":"20457089779597726024","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0645\/9392\/0079\/files\/6889818801249103320_1200.jpg?v=1756934750"},{"product_id":"one-foot-pink-sticker","title":"Only Need One Foot to Kick Your Ass – Die‑Cut Sticker (Pink Variant) 🦶","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEmpowerment with edge. 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Perfect for laptops, water bottles, planners, and any surface that needs to radiate \u003cem\u003e“I did not request your input, damnit.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you’re dodging coworker commentary, shutting down group‑chat chaos, or simply vibing in your own lane, this sticker does the emotional labor so you don’t have to. \u003cstrong\u003eIt’s the sassiest boundary you’ll ever peel and stick.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🎯 Great For\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• People who’ve mastered the art of the side‑eye\u003cbr\u003e• Laptop lids that need a little bite\u003cbr\u003e• Water bottles with attitude and zero tolerance\u003cbr\u003e• Gifts for friends who weaponize sarcasm with grace\u003cbr\u003e• Anyone who’s ever said “I didn’t ask” and meant it with their whole soul\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong style=\"--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgb(59 130 246 \/ 0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; box-sizing: border-box; border-width: 0px; border-style: solid; border-color: rgba(179, 179, 179, 0.3); font-weight: bold; font-size: 1.125rem; line-height: 1.75rem; color: #434341; font-family: 'Noto Sans'; background-color: #ffffff;\"\u003e⭐\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e Product Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• \u003cspan style=\"background-color: #ffffff; color: #434341; font-family: 'Noto Sans'; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e🖤\u003c\/span\u003e \u003cstrong\u003eMatte finish\u003c\/strong\u003e because your sass should be smooth, not shiny\u003cbr\u003e• 🌎 \u003cstrong\u003eEco‑friendly inks\u003c\/strong\u003e — saving the planet while ending conversations\u003cbr\u003e• 😎 \u003cstrong\u003eUV laminate\u003c\/strong\u003e shade that lasts longer than your patience\u003cbr\u003e• 🧱 \u003cstrong\u003eWater‑resistant vinyl\u003c\/strong\u003e wipes away the tears of offended strangers\u003cbr\u003e• 🫶 \u003cstrong\u003eEasy‑peel backing\u003c\/strong\u003e drama‑free application for maximum drama elsewhere\u003cbr\u003e• 🤏 \u003cstrong\u003eMultiple sizes available\u003c\/strong\u003e choose your preferred level of disrespect delivery\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🧼 Care Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGently wipe with a soft, dry cloth from the center outward. Avoid soaking, scrubbing, or explaining yourself to people who don’t deserve the breath.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 2\" × 2\"","offer_id":44297635561551,"sku":"13066802176975497994","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 3\" × 3\"","offer_id":44297635594319,"sku":"21211758128004022088","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 4\" × 4\"","offer_id":44297635627087,"sku":"15878719260559454608","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 5\" × 5\"","offer_id":44297635659855,"sku":"19058812040144117884","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 6\" × 6\"","offer_id":44297635692623,"sku":"31810709587312053749","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0645\/9392\/0079\/files\/8380702142625761261_1200.jpg?v=1767119499"},{"product_id":"404-error-motivation-sticker","title":"404 Error: Motivation Not Found – Die‑Cut Vinyl Sticker ⚠️","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYour daily dose of “meh,” now in sticker form.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003eWhen your motivation has shuffled off this mortal coil, this sticker steps in to speak the truth for you. 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No need to overthink it — this isn’t rocket science. Unless you \u003cem\u003eare\u003c\/em\u003e a rocket scientist, in which case… carry on.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 2\" × 2\"","offer_id":44417660256335,"sku":"20810183498518843716","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 3\" × 3\"","offer_id":44417660289103,"sku":"51883096327920786619","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 4\" × 4\"","offer_id":44417660321871,"sku":"13874329945750002413","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 5\" × 5\"","offer_id":44417660354639,"sku":"20048638313937386858","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte Vinyl Sticker \/ 6\" × 6\"","offer_id":44417660387407,"sku":"73508380133088918013","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0645\/9392\/0079\/files\/17109398780776646472_1200.jpg?v=1769617595"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0645\/9392\/0079\/collections\/ALL_MATTE_VINYL_DIE-CUT_STICKERS.png?v=1757956745","url":"https:\/\/thebeardedskeleton.com\/collections\/all-die-cut-stickers.oembed?page=2","provider":"The Bearded Skeleton","version":"1.0","type":"link"}